This is a genuine call for information. You all know where this place is, nestled into the fabric of Hamra between Le Beirut and Bricks. There is always on old man sitting outside on a chair who says ‘Hi’. The door is always ajar, but never open. Dim red light is always seeping out into the street like gunge from a wound. Everything about the place screams ‘whore house’ at the top of its nicotine ruined lungs.
Now I know I have developed a small reputation, fighting with cab drivers, sticking my arm down toilets and posting incongruous sex listings on Craigslist, but I have to level with you and be honest. As much as I want to check this place out, I have never been into G Bar.
Reason? I am too scared.
I popped my head in the door once. Sitting on the bar was an enormously obese woman with surgically enhanced lips that looked like sausage skin filled with too much miscellaneous meat. She stared at me like a sea creature I had discovered under a rock. I didn’t even get a look around the place, I just ran away.
I want to go back though, but not to have sex with rancid sea creatures. My plan is to go in, dressed up like a tourist, with a map and money bag, and ask to see the wine list. Of course I will never do this, I don’t want to end up chained to a radiator with a manoushe stuffed in my mouth.
But someone, somewhere must have been in there.
Anyone care to enlighten me?
I won’t tell your mothers. Honestly…