Soul singers hit by impotence

Bill has withered

Scientists in New Orleans have identified a new form of erectile dysfunction which selectively occurs in aging black soul singers.

The disease, known as Bill Withers, is thought to be the greatest threat to African American music since Will Smith.

A sufferer of the disorder, who wished to remain anonymous, explained to Beirut Beat how the problem had all but ruined his love life.

‘Well when I got ma laydee and its just the two of us, she asks to lean on me or says she wants me to use me and I just go soft as if the thang is being held in ma grandma’s hands, maaan.’

The discovery comes at a bad time for the soul community, who had only just begun to recover from a virulent strain of pre-mature ejaculation known as Stevie One Minute Wonder.


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