Work for Beirut Beat!

Have you lost the respect of your friends and family since you were made redundant from your part time job as a door to door dental floss salesman?

Looking for a new career to help pay off your plastic surgery bills and buy yourself a new set of skype headphones?

Well look no further! Here at Beirut Beat we don’t know the meaning of recession. No longer just your favourite online magazine, we have now branched out into a range of new industries and have plenty of exciting vacancies to fill.

UNDERWEAR FLAMMABILITY INSPECTOR  (male only).

Job description

To satisfy the legal requirements of a recent law suit, Beirut Beat now must ensure that all our branded underwear products are 50% more fire resistant. Proving that our jockstraps do not randomly burst into flames could be your newest role.

Qualifications and abilities

3 years experience in a jockstrap setting

PhD in Thermodynamics

Ability to work under pressure / with a flaming crotch

ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION UNIT- EXTRACTION SPECIALIST

Job description

Based in the new Beirut Beat sperm bank facility, your role will involve encouraging participants to provide samples as quickly as possible and with the minimum of fuss.

Qualifications and abilities

Possession of your own milk maid uniform

A forklift truck licence

Ability to work well alone or as a member of a team.

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS (unpaid)

Job description

Beirut Beat are currently looking for several graphic designers to crudely photoshop our logo onto various products which we can then pass off as our own. We can’t afford to pay you for this work (if you can call graphic design work) but this will look great on your otherwise bare CV.

Qualifications and abilities

Your own Macbook pro which you will leave in the office overnight.

All applications in pdf format to beirutbeat@gmail.com

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3 responses to “Work for Beirut Beat!

  1. Before anyone mentions the ‘graphic design = not work’ comment I would like to point out it took me about an hour to make those Beirut Beat underwear.

  2. Hello blog owner, normally I don’t comment on your posts but I wanted to let you know I have placed a link to your page on my blog. I was thinking that maybe you could benefit from my visitors since we have somewhat similar pages. I would appreciate a link back 😉 Check your link out here http://beatmaker-soft.blogspot.com/

  3. Hey make beat, I can’t actually see the link to my site on yours, but I do agree that we have similar pages, as we are both promoting bullshit. Except mine is free.

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