Takeaway seating areas make me sad

This is what London looks like by the way.

There are usually two. Small tables, made of cheap metal, chairs made of the same material.

I cannot be certain, but I believe that takeaway owners provide this dining facility for those busy city slicker types who are always on the go and don’t have time to take their spine meat wrap back to the office because they are late for the big meeting.

But when I look at the seating areas in takeaways I don’t see design catering to a fast paced urban lifestyle. I see something else.

I imagine a drastic misinterpretation of the purpose of these window seats. Much like the scene in Taxi Driver where Travis takes that woman to a porno theatre, I imagine a tragic character who believes that this is what people mean when they say ‘going for a meal’.

I can see him picking up a woman he has met on one of those websites, her face full of hope that he might be the one. He is smiling to himself, excited at the great time they are going to have. Then they pull up at Kennedy Fried Chicken and she thinks there has been some mistake.

They sit down. Maybe this is some kind of joke. Should she walk out? Pretend to get a phone call from a sick relative?

He has  no idea how awkward this is for her. He doesn’t understand. He tries to make a joke ‘I’ll ask for the menus shall I?’. But they don’t need menus! They can see the different chicken and chips combinations on the illuminated sign above the counter!

Out of sheer stress she breaks down into tears, sobbing painfully onto the freshly mopped floor.

Then the man frying the chicken comes from behind the counter and gives her a napkin to dry her eyes with and a free Pepsi to help cheer her up.

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