Tag Archives: CNN

Beirut is more than boobs and Botox (a response to David J Constable)

D J Constable: Is he wearing any trousers?

So summer is here again and with it comes the annual influx of derogatory, poorly researched articles by western ‘journalists’ doing their best to pick out the worst parts of Beirut culture after a quick holiday visiting a couple of nightclubs.

Last year CNN made a brave expedition through the jungle of Beirut’s rooftop bars, encouraging the world to think that the city was populated entirely by sparkling idiots who couldn’t care about tomorrow as long as the champagne was flowing and the iPhone still had enough battery to film the dead look in everyone’s eyes.

This year the Huffington Post have gone one step further, with a piece by David J Constable claiming that

Beirut has now overtaken both LA and Miami as the plastic surgery capital of the world.’ 

Unfortunately, David neglects to inform us exactly where he sourced this data from, and if he did manage to bump into a medical statistician armed with a verifiable set of figures in either of the two shit clubs he visited he must have forgotten to add it to the article.

And that was not the only piece of data he forgot to reference. With such gems as

Muslim, Christian and Druze women in Beirut dress surprisingly skimpy’

and

the women look like Cleopatra, with a dark natural beauty’

it seems that it was not a guidebook but his own penis that led him around the city.

Well if the Huffington Post can employ a pervert to make wild unsubstantiated claims Beirut Beat can go one better. If Beirut is the plastic surgery capital of the world it is also a few other things too.

 

Beirut is design capital of the world

Beirut Design Week 2012

As last month’s Design Week showed, Beirut has more talented designers, artists and creative thinkers than any other city in the world, possibly the universe.

From workshops and talks with renowned fashion designers…

Johnny Farah workshop by Ghannouj

non-profit fashion houses

Creative Space Beirut Workshop

Arabic type-inspired furniture designers

Kashida: Product design inspired by Arabic typography

independent graphic designers

Maajoun: Independent graphic designers

renowned design educators and award winning film makers, the city embraced its design heritage and celebrated the rich culture of a very Middle Eastern art.

NB: Boob design does not qualify as design.

Beirut is the electronic music capital of the world

Per capita, there is more ground breaking electronic musicians in Beirut than any other city in the history mankind.

With musical outfits such as Beirut Groove Collective and Acousmatik system

Acousmatiksystem: They love owls…

and song-writing performers including Munma

Munma aka Jawad Nawfal

Tarek Attoui and Jad Atoui

Jad Atoui

not to mention Dj’s Lethal Skillz and DJ Spindle

or hip hoppers Fareeq El Atrash

Edd Abbas of FareeQ el Atrash

and Toufaar (who are from Bekaa but they deserve a mention for being amazing), there is enough new music coming from Beirut to give your ipod a heart attack.

NB: You may see many people with unusually large smiles at concerts and parties but trust me, it is not Botox.

Beirut is the western journalist capital of the world.

The journalists spot a mini skirt

At the last estimate there were approximately 17 million western journalists in Beirut. Building nests in 5 star hotels wearing their best Jesus sandals and tattered baseball caps, they crawl around every conceivable public space, interviewing people about ‘issues’ and trying to twist your every word into a political dialogue about refugees or Iran.

I once sneezed when walking down the street and the next day found out it had been translated into a double page article about Gaza. The only way to avoid them is to stay away from rooftop bars. You heard it here first people.

(ps Sorry Bobby Fisk I wasn’t talking about you).

(pps There are loads of other great bands I didn’t mention, this article pretty much covers them all)

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Do NOT come to Beirut! (because of THIS video)

Right, get a look at this.

Aaaaaaaaaaand sit back down.

So CNN have been here and apparently got it all wrong. All fucking wrong.

A coveted Lebanese blogger, Our Man in Beirut, wrote a post this week discussing and despairing over this clip from a rational and reasoned perspective.

But if you have ever been on this site before (and if you haven’t then welcome) you will know that ‘rational’ and ‘reasoned’ are words that have been scratched out of our dictionary with a bloodied unicorn’s hoof.

Apart from the incongruous geographical comparisons (‘Before the war, Lebanon was considered the Switzerland of the Middle East’) and the fact that half the people interviewed seem unable to deliver a line without stuttering and getting confused, this piece of PR presents what I believe to be some very inaccurate and possibly damaging press for Lebanon.

Q: Why is it inaccurate?

Oh, thanks for asking. When watching CNN’s little clip I began to worry that people in other parts of the world might think that Beirut (and possibly Lebanon as a whole) is a nation of juvenile, neon idiots, pissing absurd amounts of money they didn’t earn off gratuitous rooftop nightclubs, waving their iPhones at waiters carrying trays of cocktails and downloading personality upgrades from their nearest pre-pay hotspot.

These excuses for human beings do unfortunately reside in, or at least visit annually, this otherwise great country, but it would be a travesty for anyone, even people who watch CNN, to think that this is the norm.

Q: Why is it damaging?

For the sole reason that more of the idiots described above might flock here from other countries. This could be very dangerous. If too many soulless turds were to flock to Beirut then we may face ‘Idiot Mass’.

This is a critical condition where a combination of bottomless bank accounts, vacuous girls in miniskirts, guys who look like they have just come out of ovens and meaningless high-fives create a vortex that will envelope the whole country and suck it away to the sort of horrific Soviet Russian labour camp that Ivan Denisovich had nightmares about.

Q: Oh no! What can we do?

A: Carry on NOT being a prick.

Whether you follow the local music scene, play 5-a-side football, compete with your friends at network gaming in internet cafe’s, design bespoke clothing or furniture, are involved in poetry or martial arts… keep doing it.

This city is much more than a series of expensive, glow in the dark twat-traps.

And if CCN have a problem with that. They can kiss my Skybar.